The Fast and the Nerdiest

"I made one last monster bet. I'm gambling that a skinny, moderately good looking, pain in the neck like me could land someone like you. It's the biggest gamble of my life."

- Toby

The Fast and the Nerdiest is the eighteenth episode of the second season of Scorpion, and the fortieth of the series overall. It aired February 29, 2016.

Synopsis
After Sylvester scores big on "The Price is Right", Team Scorpion must infiltrate a high-end car smuggling operation about to ship bioweapons to South America.

Plot
TeamScorpion starts with the team at The Price is Right. Sly worries that he won’t get picked. He gets picked last and goes nuts and runs down but doesn’t want anyone else to touch him. Drew Carey comes out to start the show.

Drew starts with a ping pong table. Sly yells out $950 before George can finish the description. Toby wants to bet and Happy says he’s manic. Sylvester gets it and they all scream. He takes the stage and bounces happily.

George says he has a chance to win up to $100k. The game he has to play puts things in order of the house. He puts them in order fast and says he doesn’t need descriptions. Drew is upset he’s messing with the order of things but he’s right and wins the big money.

He shakes Drew’s hand after putting a sleeve over his hand. The warehouse is full of all Sly’s showcase prizes. He’s planning on selling all of these to help get the naming rights to the hospital wing for Megan. Happy complains about Toby’s betting habits

Special guest Eric Roberts shows up and says he’s a pal of Cabe’s. Then Cabe shows up and says hi to Mick. They go in the back to talk and he tells Cabe he’s in trouble. He says his deal Cabe made won’t protect him and says he needs to make a trade.

He says he has dirt he’ll give up if he gets him out of the country. Cabe says he’s with Homeland now. Mick says he heard about the genius team. Cabe introduces Mick to the team as a childhood pal and says the Feds will make him testify.

Paige says they don’t do shady things and Cabe says give us the intel and we’ll try. Mick says he’s been running with Patrick Grady who’s a car smuggler. He says the guy smuggles stuff in custom high-end cars. He says he heard Patrick talking with Ready about a shipment.

Toby says the description sounds like a biological material and a $5 million payment. Toby isn’t happy and Cabe speaks to the team in private. He says Mick saved him from being killed by a gang of kids who were trying to steal the payroll he was carrying for his granddad.

Cabe says what if Mick is right and says they could stop something dangerous. Walter says they cover computers and they can search the place and find date to support the story then they call the authorities or it’s too bad for Mick.

Sly asks if they took some of his game show motor oil. They figure out Mick did it. Cabe insists he’s a good guy and any of them could be a lost Picasso. Toby says it’s an artsy analogy for Cabe who tells him to shut up. Mick comes over and says it’s set.

Happy, Walter and Toby go in and they end up getting grabbed. They are thrown in the back of a van and are driven out of there. Cabe shoves Mick and asks what he did. Mick tells Cabe to let him play out. He says Grady is waiting to see if law enforcement follows.

He says Cabe will get them killed if he follows. They take them to a new place and Walter looks at all the hot cars. Happy says that Pantera is the sexiest thing she’s seen. He says Mick told him they could upgrade the system for him.

Walter says they can exploit inefficiencies in customs systems to help them. Mick tells Cabe he thinks he knows where they took them and they take off. Sly says he’s researching Balio, the country that might be involved with the biological agent.

Walter tells Patrick he needs to run a diagnostic and Toby checks in while Walter looks for biohazard info. Toby says shady Grady might keep non-digital records and Toby suggests he and Happy snoop around.

Toby tells him that it’s irresponsible to let his men drive pricey cars. He says Walter is good at street racing and Patrick calls him a degenerate gambler. He says Walter can outrace any of them and Toby says if Walter wins you double our fee and if he loses, they forfeit the fee.

Happy goes inside to search while they get ready for their race. Paige tells Walter to drag this out. Walter asks about fuel additives then checks for nitrous. Walter demands they siphon the fuel and compare it. Happy spots a strange spot of crown molding in the warehouse. She says she found something and pulls out the records.

It’s from a library in Balio. She says it’s all about the package that has to be kept at a certain temperature. Happy found an address and Paige says she and Sly will give it a drive by. Patrick asks if it hurts when Walter lays eggs and implies he’s a chicken.

Toby says don’t let him goad you. Walter says let’s race. Paige and Sly head up to a building that looks condemned and Sly spots fresh footprints. Paige says the door is unlocked and Cabe asks if it needs a storage facility of a specific type. Patrick and Walter face off to race.

Happy says she’s not ready yet. The race is on. Paige and Sly go inside and spot a makeshift lab that someone has abandoned not too long ago. Sly spots biohazard labels and reads them off. Happy says she needs more time and says lose and challenge him to a rematch.

Sly reads the letters again. Walter and Toby agree it’s a cold virus with a mitochondrial gene that would target the native Aztecs. It’s a common cold that will spread a virus to that population. It’s a genocide bomb. Cabe says the smugglers don’t know and it’s just money to them.

Walter smokes Patrick. Toby says Happy is out of time. Happy keeps looking and Toby says some are on their way in. Patrick tells Walter he can’t pay him double if he doesn’t do the work. Happy finds the address and then one of the guys finds her in the records.

The guy lets Patrick know and says they’re cops. Toby says they are not cops. Cabe tells Mick to take off and he does. Patrick says they’re liars. He says tell me who you with or I’ll kill one of you in 10 seconds. Toby says they’re with Mick and he hits him.

Cabe drives through the wall and creates havoc. They hop in and he drives away. Sly says he’s having a heart attack. Cabe says they need to get to the storage facility before they lose the weapon.

Mick took off and stole the biological weapon. Cabe says they’re searching the border and says Mick is heading south. Sly says maybe Mick is waiting on something. Toby says family, lack of cash, or love are the three factors. Happy says maybe it’s his girl Lorraine that he mentioned. Cabe says they can’t believe anything the guy says.

They decide that Lorraine may be holed up gambling. Toby suggests two dives. The team splits up and Sly stays back to shut down all of her credit cards and give her photo to border patrol. Paige asks isn’t this a risk and Cabe says they have to take it. Paige and Happy pull up to a ratty hotel that houses poker games.

Happy says she didn’t know Toby lived this rough and doesn’t like thinking about this. Cabe, Walter and Toby go to another place and they spot Lorraine pacing. Cabe points out Grady’s men hiding at the hotel. Walter spots the oil leak and says it’s from Mick’s car. Paige says call the cops and Cabe says if they can get her out, they can make a deal with Mick.

Walter says they can talk to her through the TV. He says they need a television studio. They go to the cable box on the side of the hotel and splice into it. Cabe tells her Mick is in trouble and she is too. He says Grady has two guys in the room next door who know they double crossed them. Cabe says you can’t leave the room, they’re watching,

Cabe says trust me and Walter throws a rope to her. They tell her to tie the rope to the metal brace of the AC. Cabe tells her to get ready. Walter and Cane yank the window unit out. They tell her to climb down. She’s scared and Toby says hurry. She climbs out as they beat in her door. They run off with her and Grady’s guys see them going.

Back at the warehouse, Cabe tells her that Mick has a dangerous weapon and she says he’ll figure things out. Cabe gets a call from a burner. Mick says he knew they had her and says let her go. Cabe says she’s not innocent and can send her away for a long time as an accessory. Lorraine says she’s scared and tells him to come in. Mick says it’s worth $5 million.

He tells her he’s cutting her loose and hangs up. She curses him. Cabe tells her if innocent people die, she’s never going to see daylight again and says last chance. Lorraine says he told her they were heading south to charter a boat and says he told her they’re going to live like royalty in Bario. They figure out where he can buy oil to get him past the border.

Walter and Cabe rush out and Happy and Toby are in another car. They don’t see anyone at the gas stations but then Cabe spots his car. Happy says she’ll force him onto the service road and runs him away from the freeway. Cabe calls and says he’s coming for him. Mick says he likes to play chicken. Walter says chicken with a bio-weapon is a bad idea.

Mick says he always won at this. They head for each other. Happy slows and blocks traffic. Cabe pulls to the right and Mick hits barriers. His car dies and Cabe has a gun on him. Mick is trapped. He says you finally won at chicken and Cabe puts him under arrest. Mick says he’s still the best friend he ever had. Sly is selling the stuff online to raise money.

Cabe says the CDC is destroying the weapon and Grady’s men were scooped up. Cabe tells them he’s sorry and says he should have listened to them about Mick and he put them at risk. Cabe says no one changes and he should know that. Paige says he was trying to see the best in Mick like you saw the best in this team and it’s a trait he shouldn’t apologize for.

Cabe thanks her and Walter says he’s sorry to all of them for letting his pride put them at risk with the drag race. Toby says he literally egged him on calling him a chicken. Walter says he takes back the apology to Toby. Toby says his vice saved them and he owes no one an apology. Happy says come here now and takes him to the roof.

She punches him and he says he saved the Aztecs. She says he thinks the gambling is positive and he doesn’t need to change. She calls him stupid and says she grew up bouncing from foster families to group homes and says they all promised her it was the last. She says they promised her stability and she can’t have the rug pulled out from under her.

Toby says he loves her. She says he’s been manically betting. He says that’s because he manically loves her. He says it’s easy to fix. He pulls out his gambling chits and lights them on fire. He swears he will never gamble again ever. Happy says people don’t change. He says his last bet is that a skinny guy like him can land a woman like him.

He says it’s the biggest gamble of his life. They hug. Walter asks Cabe if he thinks people can change and he says he can. Walter says he hacked his records after Toby mentioned his art connection. He says he found out Cabe took some art classes back in the day and signed him up for a class at the community college that starts tonight.

Walter says it’s paid for so please consider it. Cabe goes and the teacher asks if Cabe is okay. He says he’s not sure if he’s still a guy who paints. She asks if he painted once and he says yes. She asks why and he says a friend encouraged him and he liked it. She says good friend. He picks up a brush and starts painting.

Original recap from celebdirtylaundry.com

Main

 * Elyes Gabel as Walter O'Brien
 * Katharine McPhee as Paige Dineen
 * Robert Patrick as Cabe Gallo
 * Eddie Kaye Thomas as Toby Curtis
 * Jadyn Wong as Happy Quinn
 * Ari Stidham as Sylvester Dodd

Recurring

 * Riley B. Smith as Ralph Dineen

Guest Stars

 * Drew Carey as himself
 * Joely Fisher as Lorraine
 * Frank Renzulli as Patrick Grady
 * Eric Roberts as Mick
 * Avi Bernard as Tommy
 * Erica Bowman as Patricia
 * George Gray as himself

Trivia

 * The title of this episode references the popular Fast and Furious film franchise.